where do i belong?

have you ever wonder, how can you tell if you friends are being truthful with you? in other words are they really your 'true' friends? i can't help but wonder. it's not like i'm a hypocrite or something but i do have friends who have qualities that i don't agree with but yet i'm friends with them. it's not like i have anything against them just because they're the way they are. but those are friends whom i'm not so close with so you just can't say right to their face what you don't like about them. now, my point is that what about close friends? those that you've known for ages, best buddies, your inner circle of friends? how well do you actually know them? do they have something that they don't like about you but they just keep silent over the years? sometimes i feel like i don't really belong. yes, we may be friends, assumingly close friends but till the time you tell me when you're sad because you're having problems, the fact that you thought about me when you're in time of need, till then i know i mean something to you. and that would mean a lot to me, to belong. i don't think the point of us corresponding through email about our daily life, uni life, working life etc. is good enough a justification of how close we are. even when we're face to face, sometimes i feel like we're just trying too hard to catch up and that's about it. no time for intimate details. then the worst is how some in the group are closer one or two so you end up telling stuff to some but not the rest. i feel like i'm always in the latter. where do i belong?