my grandma is the best

thanks for taking care of me this two weeks. though you added more to the already long list of restrictions, i still really appreciate you cooking for me seeing that i shouldn't be eating outside food. i guess this is really a blessing in disguise seeing that i'm able to spend more quality time with family.

while i'm at it, would like to thank those who visited me in the hospital and to marianne who brought me more entertainment right when you feel better. and to those who wished me. thank you. i feel loved.

current mode

current mode: missing my sewing machine. if only i had a functional one at home. wow, imagine how many softies i would have produced by now? seeing that i've been back in malaysia since mid-jan. could have a fully functional production line and new range by now. yes, i AM so free and bored. you would be too if you're stuck at home most of the time, eating bland food most of the days. but now that i've got my router, i should probably be starting on that journal paper i'm supposed to write eh? no more excuses...

everything happens for a reason

i've always said to people, "everything happens for a reason". i'm sure something good will come out of all these. but obviously when you're the one who's hearing all these, you'll be like "it's easier said than done". no matter how small the matter is, you'll be deeply affected, or at least i am. at one point in time, i actually thought to myself, i don't want to pursue my studies anymore, this is too much for me to handle. emotional breakdown. must have been cause by everyone asking, "so your studies how (discreetly intepreted as, are you still gonna continue)?". then when i was feeling alright, i tried to think, think of the possibilities. if i didn't pursue this dream that i have, this great opportunity with free education, what would i do? will i be willing to find a job here and settle down, what would i do? i came to a blank. i know for a fact i don't want to end up in sales or marketing. i don't think i'll find a job suitable for me at this point in time. what's more, will i be so lucky to get such scholarships in the future if i decided to change my mind? of course, the first reaction from my boyfriend is, "yay! that means you'll be back here for longer!". most of the times i think i'm alright, everything's going to be okay soon enough. in no time at all, it's going to be time to fly back to Melbourne. but when I think about it, doctor's not going to let me go back for at least another 2 months. he wants to monitor my recovery. but at least that's still better than the initial plan of keeping me here till August. yeah, i have to go for follow up treatment once a month but he said that i'll be able to arrange something in Melbourne after the first two sessions. at least it's something. though i'm gonna be delayed for another 2 months, at least i'm back here with family, hopefully soon with friends when i can start driving, eating and walking again, to hang out. sorry peeps if i haven't been calling you out, i'm not supposed to be hanging out at the moment.