what's with the new layout?

i'll tell you what's with the new layout! it was totally unintentional. i was just browsing looking for a new layout and how it would look like and the smart me forgotten to save the old template first. and not knowing that the new ones already saved! so i couldn't really be bothered to go try and look for my old layout again. hope you don't find it too much. ahaha! well, it's kinda nice i guess. bright and flowery. hmm...

what a week!

yes! finally got the first assignment out of the way! that five days of easter break was not even a break at all. cuz all of us had to work on our literature review which was due on friday. plus i was so smart to tell my supervisor that he's way lenient on us so he gave us a deadline to hand in a draft by that monday which i did...almost completed but worked my ass off and just almost managed to get the whole thing through...was too mentally exhausted by then. and all was good when it came back to me the next day with nothing but good comments. well, at least i know i was certainly on the right track and my easter break was well spent on my assignment. and and...this is the first time ever that i almost fully completed my assignment like 5 days before the due date! and first time ever i handed in draft copy! but yet in the end had to spend the next few days with the remainder of the paragraphs. and learned that i had to write an abstract too. and stupid endnote kept stuffing up! it was a frustrating period...but it's all over now! ahaha! well at least for two weeks i hope cuz no major assignments coming up for another two weeks! woo hoo!

and just in case any of you were still wondering about my medical condition...the doctor said it's all clear. but i'm still waiting on my visa approval though. even after approved i have to reapply for my working visa to finally get paid again. i have been working without pay for more than 1 1/2 months now. wow...when i finally get to claim back my working hours...i'll be rich again! as of now, i'm quite broke. i think i've been spending more but i just have no idea where's all the money have gone to. and no, i didn't spend it on shopping cuz i was too busy to go shopping. and no, not on movies too. no time. maybe also cuz i ate out more...no time to pack lunch...stay late so eat out. ahaha! but then how much can i be spending on food rite? and yes. no time to keep record of what i spend on hence the not-knowing-where-my-money went to. hah!

now all i can think of is. what should i be spending my time on now that i'm free!

i wanna watch movie!

i wanna go shopping! [but no money now]

i wanna bake cheesecake! [just baked today, cooling off for the night]

i wanna clean my room!

i wanna do my laundry! [which have been overflowing from the laundry basket]

i think i should just take a rest now...all the other things can wait. all i want now is to go out and take a break! just sit down and have coffee or take a walk without any destination in mind.

happy easter y'all

hey hey! just dropped by to wish y'all happy easter! for those in aussie, happy easter break! though i reckoned most of us have assignments to be completed but heck, it's still a break from going to uni right? at least you can work at your own pace, sleep and wake up anytime you want too! as for me, yes, have to be writing my literature review by monday! ahaha! i'll be back end of the week! till then, take care!! muakz muakz!

what it all comes down to.

i've not been having a streak of luck this few days. first it was the fact that my dell laptop has weird dimensions which led me to believe that it could fit into a crumpler notebook case. it would actually fit if not for the 1 cm wider in the middle due to its curvy design! cuz the smart me measured the sides thinking that it's all square and all. but heck, at least eugene's computer could fit in it because his new laptop has the widescreen dimension. it hugs perfectly! and it's too nice for me to go exchange it for something second best. ehehe.

on another serious matter, i have not gotten my visa approved due to stupid medical examination. i've waited two weeks for them to tell me i have to go for further check up because they noticed something on my chest x-ray. not only do i have to wait for them to forward the x-ray to another clinic where i'm supposed to be doing my further test, i have to wait for that clinic to sent me an appointment time. i think they think that their postal is so good that things urgent like medical stuff can just be sent through snail mail! so the stupid me went to tell my parents that my visa is still waiting upon my medical results and that they are suspected that i might have "tuberculosis or other diseases". now i have to make another doctor's appointment at the uni student health services hoping to do another chest x-ray or get a second opinion. tomorrow.

but don't u think it's kinda stupid that if i'm suspected of some sort of disease that they should clarify it as soon as possible. saying, *touchwood* if i do have something that i should get treated immediately rather than let it delay on? how stupid is that? so now i have my mum worrrying about me. i feel bad for making her worry. if i knew she would have taken it so seriously i wouldn't have told her cuz i'm sure she wouldn't be able to sleep until she knows exactly how i am. so with her stressing about me, i also feel stress! decided to not go in to st.vincent's today because not in the mood ar! =p

just want to get away from seeing other ppl reading their material which might stress me up more than i already am. i seriously hope that nothing is wrong with me. by the way, do u know that the BCG shots we took? it's for TB leh. don't tell me the vaccine not effective anymore? or that i contracted some sort of disease from being at the hospital environment too much? sienz....

just another day

i never really thought of chinese new year as something exciting because when we're back in hometown, besides seeing grandma and the lil cousins, cny is just a bunch of ppl hanging around in the same small house eating almost every single hour of the day, under the super hot weather. there always isn't much to do except for eat and dress in new clothes then it would be a load of talking nothing really. the man of the house will be gambling outside the house, the ladies either sleeping or talking or eating. but i guess all that is still better than not spending cny with family. this is the first year most of us are spending time away from home. when i saw all the new students who flew here just because they didn't want to miss the orientation, i say to myself, they should have asked seniors if the orientation was really necessary. i pity them for having to miss their chinese new year celebration just for orientation. well, i myself was having cny away from home as well. was supposed to meet up with eugene's uncle for lunch but eugene had a meeting, yes a meeting on cny! so ended up doing nothing but travelling around accompanying my friend to this JPA thingy where there was a new officer on the block! by the way, in case you didn't know, JPA officials seldom stay in their position for more than a year. don't ask me why. also, it was too hot to be hanging outdoors for the only celebration/demonstrations that was organized at Crown. well, at least we had a good dinner together! will be looking forward to the steamboat thingy that we're planning but haven't confirm with most ppl travelling back here in the next few days. steamboat steamboat!

everything new

just a quick update of what i've been doing the last week or so.

• went shopping first thing when i came back. it was fun to be able to buy cheap things in my size for a change.
• went ikea to buy furnitures for my room in our woody homely 'new' place.
• helped frances fixed up her study/computer table. we did it in less than 2 hours. not bad leh for two girls considering the table involved many complicated screws and fixtures.
• received my ISIC card so i don't have to carry passport as prove of age anymore. well at least for this year.
• received an email confirming that i got the honours scholarship.
• went to watch pursuit of happyness and loved it!
• got new speakers! real cute! dun jealous you don't have. ehehe...
• volunteered in uni for packing showbags for an upcoming careers fair.
• bought a cabinet for 30 bucks from reject shop. i wonder what's wrong with it for it to be in the reject shop. because it's made in msia or just plainly because the wood is so damn heavy for such a small shelf?
• paid my first rental today.

things yet to be done.

• waiting for internet to be fixed next week.
• waiting for doctors appointment to do medical check up.
• waiting for visa to be approved [after medical check up of course]
• start on literature reading. i'm so lazy that i still haven't started! in only two weeks time i'm supposed to be starting my honours already!

returning

just two and a half weeks ago i came back to subang and now there's only about a week left of my stay here. can't believe how fast time flies when i'm actually beginning to not dread staying at home and do nothing while others are at work. i'm just beginning to enjoy the sitting down and watch tv anytime i want, with all those chinese series on tv. calling friends to bug them to call me out. now that i'm only left with so little time, finally decided to call them out instead of waiting for them. i'm always doing the waiting and they'll just say i didn't call them. so why play the blaming game when we can actually be having a great time out! ahaha! it's only the beginning and i'm already going back! sad huh? objective for the week, meet up with as many friends as possible before flying off again for another year. plus perhaps start thinking of wat to buy to stock up for australia.

alone

i've always have people been around me all the time and this few days being the only person in the house, onlining with not many people to talk to, not being able to make a phone call because don't have a phone card, not getting reply for sms', not having someone you can call at any time of the day, not having someone who you can just say you hate them for no apparent reason etc. i seriously wonder, would i be able to survive alone? i've become so dependent, dependent on having people around. whether it's just their presence, or their conversations, or their irritations, or their physical and verbal support. i wonder how people actually live a life by themselves? they must have been really strong individuals. i have four more days to go and seeing that everyone's going back one by one just makes me wanna go back more. can't wait. really bored and lonely here that i have to call people to teman me go out or else i think i'll go nuts! well, at least still got roy who teman me to watch happy feet! great movie particularly loved the penguins. i think gloria's the cutest one when she was a small lil penguin.

well, i can always go out alone on a shopping spree but shopping can be fun for a day or two not the whole week. i can actually occupy my time by packing up my stuff but i'm too lazy and i don't see much to pack as i'm still using most of the stuff. ehehe...a lot of reasoning huh? or i could watch tv all day but heck tv's just an idiot box, i got bored even watching tv! *yawn*

do u like it roasted or toasted

yes. very very very HOT! HOT! burning HOT! no i'm not referring to me, i'm referring to the weather. "P today i think got reach like 38 degrees and even the wind was HOT. no longer the cool summer days that i mentioned before on my msn. and tomorrow's gonna be like that again! the only thing that bugs me is that my place got no air cond and too much window space so even if i close the windows and the blinds i can still feel the heat. maybe i should say that thankfully i'm still going in for work or else i'll be toasted in my own home. but heck, even going to work also i need to walk rite? walking under the scourching sun equals roasted me! so, do u like it roasted or toasted? i hate both! sometimes walk under the sun feel like want to pengsan like that. plus the sun shining so bright with the smoke due to bushfire making my eyes dry and tired. talking about dry, today was so HOT and dry that when i accidentally scraped my hand on the bench, it started bleeding non stop. now it hurts badly, not one finger but two fingers. bleh. tomorrow last day of work d, cuz everyone else is going off for christmas and new year holiday. so from tomorrow nite onwards, i'm as free as a bird! shopping shopping shopping! hopefully not too warm so i can shop peacefully. wait, not for myself but for those people back home mind you. ehehe. spending money like water just because i'm earning an income. ")

on another matter, super excited! planning for our potluck christmas 'party'! for those of us who are here without family to celebrate with. should be fun! with loads of yummy food hopefully. as for me, i'm gonna be preparing chocolate fondue because my love bought me the chocolate fountain machine, choccy! *grinz*

jingle bells jingle bells

most heard christmas song this year has got to be jingle bells. first i hear it so much from this dolls that eugene bought, they apparently can harmonize to each other, a reindeer, a santa, and a snowman. though not too bad but due to the fact that it's made in china it's not as harmonious as it should be. then i heard jingle bells played by this old man outside lygon court whom we always give money to. then when we walked cross him he actually played a chinese song! and he even look like he already has the christmas spirit, seldom see him smile so joyfully! then today when i was christmas pressie hunting, heard it being played at melbourne central. i think maybe the song is catchy cuz you don't hear other songs much and maybe it might be too hard for children to sing along. talking about christmas coming soon, planning planning, hopefully our christmas party in the planning will work out!

on another note, do u think u have any siblings luckier than my brother? where got ppl got sister that go shopping for stuff to buy for her brother that she don't even go shopping for herself? ;)

away for the weekend

did you know? the irresponsible-not-organized lady called me yesterday and she told me got last minute people told her they can't make it so she called me and a friend to replace them just yesterday and the camp is today. i have yet to pack and am suppose to be meeting eugene soon who is about to finish his last paper in 10 minutes time. but of course i have to let you guys know that i won't be around during this weekend rite? ahaha..what if you're wondering how come never see me online or something? anyways. so i'll be away for camp until sunday. then i'll be starting work on monday. till then, cya and take care! will tell you more when i come back from camp because this will be my first time experience doing something like this. hopefully everything goes well!

is it the end?

wow. can't believe it's all finally over! hopefully it won't be some time soon that i will ever have to take exams ever again! better still if never ever again! yes. i'm graduating! unofficially i mean. end of third year of my degree but will be continuing with honours next year. so i'll prolly just gatal and graduate twice! cuz this year is with my friends who may or may not do honours while next year would be with my family around! it seems like it's going to be forever before i actually 'graduate'. as i've mentioned many times before, if you want to achieve something in the field of science particularly my interest is in research, i would have to at least get a Phd to be able to do independent research and not forever be a technical assistant or something. so if i were to continue on from next year, i would only be graduating when i'm 27 or 28! so old! ehehe. we'll see.

now that it's all over, i'm bored again. i have nothing better to do. was suppose to volunteer for a camp but they don't want me! irresponsible-not-organized-lady whom i told once upon a time ago and she agreed, i emailed her yesterday for the details and she tell me it's full! what the...!!but nvm, it's for the better i guess, i already have back up plan for the weekends.

my only task now is to go to work. and go shopping! no no, not shop for myself. have to think of things to buy for my brother. he demands that i buy stuff home for him but the thing is that he never say what kinda things he wants! "anything nice" is the only guideline i was given. while i'm at that, anyone else wants anything from aussie? =P

physical state of mind

firstly, i would like to update you on the condition of my 'accident'. and yes, it have developed into two small ulcers and two huge extremely painful ones. not only that, since yesterday i've been feeling that the back of my gum where the wisdom tooth is suppose to come out, it's a bit swollen. looks all normal but feels damn weird. the fact is that none of my wisdom teeth are out so i wouldn't know what to expect if it's going to come out. now comtemplating whether to just go to the chemist for painkillers or go see the dentist and waste 50 bucks to see if it's just an infection. perhaps it's due to the stress of not sleeping well and i'm halfway through exams? i'm not sure either. but i think the swelling from my gum is affecting my head. i'm having this terrible headache whenever i lie down and sometimes i have to stop what i'm doing for a while cuz i feel a lil dizzy. what's happening to me man!

i have like 6 days to study for two subjects. i can't be falling sick now. plus if my wisdom tooth is growing, what better timing huh! i need wisdom not a wisdom tooth! sheez. should i go see a dentist to make sure? or just take a painkiller for the headache so i can study?

whatever it is, i'm not gonna be doing much tonight. been watching tv. just finished my second paper today and i think i deserve a rest!

p/s: even right now, my head is 'banging'. any other things that could cause it besides the tooth theory?

stupid me

yes. yet another stroke of stupidity. can't believe it man. how can i bite myself so hard that now there's a huge bloody mark on my lower lip. cannot imagine? maybe this would help.

it's really huge for a bite that was done unintentionally by my stupid self. hopefully it doesn't turn into a huge ulcer then i wouldn't be able to talk again. or maybe i can look like angelina jolie? cannot drink hot drinks also after more bengkak. have u met anyone as stupid as me?

exams in 4

first paper in another 4 days. can't believe it man. it's already my last sem. though it's honours next year, but there won't be any paper exams anymore! yet, last sem still have 4 papers to take. i dunoe why i'm not feeling very very stressed up yet. hmm. is that a good thing or bad thing? anyways, will be busy until the 21st Nov. take care till then! prayers for 10, 13, 20, 21 Nov greatly appreciated! for a clear and focused mind! god bless y'all!

life's insane

life's insane when you're a uni student. i've always been a last-minute-person but this is by no way comparison to anything that i've done man! saturday i researched for material to write up my lab report. wasn't in the mood so i went to watch movie instead. movie was good though infernal affair was better because i rather see Andy Lau and Tony Leong than Leonardo and Matt Damon. so anyways, supposed to start writing my report after the movie and wasn't planning to sleep until i finish it. but the piggy me, haven't even finish writing intro cannot tahan already. so went to bed and woke up early the next day to continue writing. already behind time and only managed to finish writing the 1500 words report in less than a day. next, [did i mention that i was way behind time?] had to start studying for a test on Tuesday for things that i'm not even sure i understood in lectures. half semester of lectures to cover from Sunday night till Tuesday morning. it was insane but do to hard work and dedication [despite the time where i keep napping every 2 hours of studying] i managed to read through all the materials. test was today, in the afternoon and by evening we got back our essay test paper. efficient huh? wat to do, last week of sem so they wanted to give it back to us as quickly as possible as feedback. for the first time in my entire uni life, i actually got 0 for a question! siao eh! 0/6 that's a lot man. i was kinda surprise that the lecturer didn't even give me a pity mark. for trying so hard to answer a question that i wasn't even sure what they were asking. in the end, the answer was actually very simple. and we blamed it on the way he phrased the question. yeah. many other got either 0 for not trying or 1 for a right sentence. but i had to emphasize again that i got zero for writing half page of answer. =( i haven't crapped so much in a paper since management in second year man! but hey, no complain here, life's insane but what you expect from studying bioinformatics in less than a day? got another report due which i was supposed to do tonight but i'm feeling pretty drained up. wanna go sleep and prolly wake up early in the morning again. now you know why i'm online at weird hours? cya!

what is it.

is it good. or is it bad. that we think alike. that the only solution we can think of is the same. but it's not as easy as we think. if only. if only some things did not happen. if only some things happen. we're holding on. onto a broken dream. is it time to wake up to the world. to reality. maybe i just want to continue dreaming. things are always perfect in dreams. the place we meet. for those far away. in dreams.

do i think too much?

sometimes i really think i think too much. if u don't know yet, yes, i can be really complicated. in terms of what's happening in my life, in my past. it always ends up being the same thing again and again. i wonder if i could ever get over it? i hate it when i start thinking and thinking and one things lead to another, then end up, wide awake in bed. i hate that feeling. i hate being uncertain of things. i hate having doubts. if only everything is as clear as the sky! wait a minute, even the sky is not clear! i wonder, if i could get on with my life with the clouds surrounding my past. i truly wonder.

ok. maybe it's the the me thinking too much here.

It was three AM
when you woke me up
And we jumped in the car and drove as far as we could go
Just to get away
We talked about our lives
Until the sun came up
And now I'm thinking about
How I wish I could go back
Just for one more day
One more day with you
Everytime I see your face
Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right
Ever since you walked away
You left my life in disarray
All I want is one more day
Now I'm sittin here, like we used to do
I think about my life and how now there's nothing I won't do
Just for one more day
One more day with you

where do i belong?

have you ever wonder, how can you tell if you friends are being truthful with you? in other words are they really your 'true' friends? i can't help but wonder. it's not like i'm a hypocrite or something but i do have friends who have qualities that i don't agree with but yet i'm friends with them. it's not like i have anything against them just because they're the way they are. but those are friends whom i'm not so close with so you just can't say right to their face what you don't like about them. now, my point is that what about close friends? those that you've known for ages, best buddies, your inner circle of friends? how well do you actually know them? do they have something that they don't like about you but they just keep silent over the years? sometimes i feel like i don't really belong. yes, we may be friends, assumingly close friends but till the time you tell me when you're sad because you're having problems, the fact that you thought about me when you're in time of need, till then i know i mean something to you. and that would mean a lot to me, to belong. i don't think the point of us corresponding through email about our daily life, uni life, working life etc. is good enough a justification of how close we are. even when we're face to face, sometimes i feel like we're just trying too hard to catch up and that's about it. no time for intimate details. then the worst is how some in the group are closer one or two so you end up telling stuff to some but not the rest. i feel like i'm always in the latter. where do i belong?