another excerpt from the past

everywhere i look, there are always things that reminds me of you. is it selfish of me to keep it or perhaps i should return everything to you? but a gift will always be a gift right? i should keep and cherish it right? are you doing the same, i doubt it though? but sometimes, when i look at them, it reminds me of you. is it wrong for me to think about our 'relationship'? what am i to you now, i truly wonder? do you hate me, does she hate me? what did you actually tell the rest of the world? is it really my fault that we're no longer close? but for everything to work out, it takes two. sometimes i think if i made a mistake, humans are so vulnerable and they are too quick to make a decision. at other times, i think it's for the best, for you and perhaps for me. but i am never sure, i've never been sure with any decision that i make. i may think that it's for the best but you may think otherwise. are you too good to deserve a friend like me? you were perfect, too perfect of a person that i was afraid to accept that fact, i don't deserve it, i really don't. i'm happy for you, happy that you are where you are now. i was too much of a burden, you were just too nice, to tolerate my behaviour. and no, i wasn't using you, as least i didn't intend to. i hope you didn't think that our friendship was just a way for me to get what i want, it wasn't. was it destined that our path crossed, i truly hope that's true? if that's the case then there must be a reason for things to happen the way it is. why am i so curious about what's happening in your life? do i even have the rights to know? my dearest friend...you're truly cherished.