anxious

to find out whether i get a PhD scholarship or not. especially i just read an email that one senior in my lab got his scholarship offer already. it's the same one that i applied for which it says "application pending". i've been checking my mail like a thousand times a day! but actually, i think i'm just too keen to be independent. if i get the scholarship, then i don't have to rely on my supervisor to cover my expenses for next year. it's not like i won't be able to do a PhD or something like that. because no matter what, with or without scholarship, my supervisor has enough funding to support me. but you know, it will just make me think that i owe it to him. some more he will give me a top up scholarship regardless. where to find so nice supervisor you tell me. i hope i don't fall into the comfort zone to easily. else i might take things for granted. such a huge commitment ahead of me. i really hope i'll be able to meet up to expectations and responsibilities.