i'm feeling emo and i don't know why. maybe it's too many jumbled up thoughts on my mind or is it just the effects of the hormones. it just makes me wonder...is this just the beginning...of more emo episodes to come. i hate it when i'm unclear of what's bothering me...i just don't feel right. if only i have a shoulder to cry on....

was waiting for food at (Korean) BBQ Chicken

random shots

tag-a-thon

I've been tagged by Jimmy

Game rules:
A． People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.

B． These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people. People who are tagged will be blessed and their wishes will come true in the future.



1.If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

this would depend on how much that person means to me...partially. there's reasons for things to turn out the way they did.


2.What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?

then maybe it's not meant to be...but you'll never know...timing is everything.


3.What will your dream wedding be like?

never really thought about that before...really.


4.Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

maybe confused is not the right word to use...of course we don't know what lies ahead so maybe more of ready to expect the unexpected.


5.What's your ideal lover like?

someone compatible. someone who accepts you for who you are. someone who can be there for you at all times. someone understanding. (this would require a whole post if i were to list down everything)


6.Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?

being loved. but it's all about give and take. you can't just receive all the time.


7.If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?

it's not the end of the world...if it's meant to happen...it will.


8.If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

nothing i guess...i'm not the most daring person in the world and i'm not gonna be a boyfriend-snatcher, am i? perhaps unless you know that the other feels the same, then maybe?


9.Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?

tell me one person who doesn't feel unhappy once in a while.

10.What do you want most in life?

happiness.

11.Is being tagged fun?

me no likey tags. make me feel obliged to do it. and i normally will.

12.If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?

then he/she is not your best friend after all? but was if my best friend is a guy...?

13.Who is currently the most important person to you?

hmm...i really don't know...

14.What kind of person do you think I am?

who is "I"? the person who tagged me? lame-o! ehehe...u know i'm just pulling your leg right?

15.What is the most unforgettable thing/event in your life?

unpleasant events... heartbroken events... a tainted past.

16.If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react

i don't think i'll fall for someone who doesn't know me. unless it's just a crush then it doesn't matter really.

17.Would you give your all in a relationship?

used to but not anymore...people learn from experiences...

18.If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?

i'm not good with decision making...i think i'll just let things be and see what happens...

19.What type of friends do you like?

nonjudgemental. honest. available. etc etc.

20.If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?

i'm too kind to play a prank on someone.

i tag whoever who's interested in doing this tag. hehe.

what we need is

it's my space

and i like it the way it is. you can just go around changing things the way it is. without even asking permission. so you're just thinking for yourself without thinking that you're intruding into other people's life. just a reminder that you should be more mindful of others, next time.

i'm in major need for wearing jeans. i wanna wear jeans! i miss wearing jeans! tried pair #1: too tight. tried pair #2: ok but not comfortable cuz jeans material is tough (not good for wound healing). looked at pair #3, #4: definitely not. i'm not saying that i'm fat that i can't fit into my jeans ok? so i guess i have to thank god for inventing tights. next best option but it's definitely different. i need my daily dose of skinny jeans, soon.

i think i need to get back to melbourne soon or else i'll just keep on buying more and more clothes. but at least from the bkk trip, i never feel like shopping in malls d. because i'll just look see look see and think it's expensive. nothing that's so special that's worth me spending the extra money. what's more the fact that the same RM30 dress is selling for RM89.90 in sunway pyramid. sorta proud of our buy until now. *grins

on another note, what is it with this trend of oversized bags? and i'm not talking about those that's big enough to fit a sweater, a bottle of water etc. i'm talking about those you see around nowadays which seems bigger than me! if you chopped me into pieces, i would definitely fit in it (just a metaphore). like those that you can take and fit all you need for a weekend getaway. is it that practical for everyday use? wouldn't it make it easier for snatch thieves to grab it off your shoulder? *puzzled

my grandma is the best

thanks for taking care of me this two weeks. though you added more to the already long list of restrictions, i still really appreciate you cooking for me seeing that i shouldn't be eating outside food. i guess this is really a blessing in disguise seeing that i'm able to spend more quality time with family.

while i'm at it, would like to thank those who visited me in the hospital and to marianne who brought me more entertainment right when you feel better. and to those who wished me. thank you. i feel loved.

current mode

current mode: missing my sewing machine. if only i had a functional one at home. wow, imagine how many softies i would have produced by now? seeing that i've been back in malaysia since mid-jan. could have a fully functional production line and new range by now. yes, i AM so free and bored. you would be too if you're stuck at home most of the time, eating bland food most of the days. but now that i've got my router, i should probably be starting on that journal paper i'm supposed to write eh? no more excuses...

everything happens for a reason

i've always said to people, "everything happens for a reason". i'm sure something good will come out of all these. but obviously when you're the one who's hearing all these, you'll be like "it's easier said than done". no matter how small the matter is, you'll be deeply affected, or at least i am. at one point in time, i actually thought to myself, i don't want to pursue my studies anymore, this is too much for me to handle. emotional breakdown. must have been cause by everyone asking, "so your studies how (discreetly intepreted as, are you still gonna continue)?". then when i was feeling alright, i tried to think, think of the possibilities. if i didn't pursue this dream that i have, this great opportunity with free education, what would i do? will i be willing to find a job here and settle down, what would i do? i came to a blank. i know for a fact i don't want to end up in sales or marketing. i don't think i'll find a job suitable for me at this point in time. what's more, will i be so lucky to get such scholarships in the future if i decided to change my mind? of course, the first reaction from my boyfriend is, "yay! that means you'll be back here for longer!". most of the times i think i'm alright, everything's going to be okay soon enough. in no time at all, it's going to be time to fly back to Melbourne. but when I think about it, doctor's not going to let me go back for at least another 2 months. he wants to monitor my recovery. but at least that's still better than the initial plan of keeping me here till August. yeah, i have to go for follow up treatment once a month but he said that i'll be able to arrange something in Melbourne after the first two sessions. at least it's something. though i'm gonna be delayed for another 2 months, at least i'm back here with family, hopefully soon with friends when i can start driving, eating and walking again, to hang out. sorry peeps if i haven't been calling you out, i'm not supposed to be hanging out at the moment.

happy valentine's day

happy valentine's! spread the love y'all!

to the new beginning

a new year. a new beginning. i was meant to announce that i've got the PhD scholarships! thank you melbourne uni for believing in me (my project). thank you department of medicine for my placement. so rest assured that i'll still be able to further my studies without burdening my supervisors or parents.

too many things to be done in such short period of time. was accomodating my family when they were here for my graduation. then right after graduation on the 17th dec, off i went on a road trip to sydney with eugene's family. all expense paid trip. i felt bad because they didn't let me pay for anything. but at least i was a good navigator when it comes to reading map and a 'portable' camera gal. always trying to help them take family pictures but always end up someone in the pic blinking! all in all, i had great fun! even got the chance to meet up with my childhood girlfriend, jane. it was nice chatting up with her, just the two of us. was wishing the night could have been longer. and thanks jane, for keeping your night free just for me, knowing that you actually had something on. and also for staying out so late eventhough you stay so far! i've checked on the map when we were leaving sydney, that liverpool is indeed pretty far away!

been busy packing up stuff and getting ready to move as well. didn't even get about to writing a draft for the journal my supervisor asked me to. now i also don't know what i'm going to do when i get in on the 2nd jan. hopefully he's not mad that i didn't do my homework.

then i'll be off to tassie the next few days for a week. soon enough, i'll be back in msia!

merry christmas

merry christmas and a happy holidays to all!

softies

softies in production! came upon this book in the bookstore, it caught my eye and it was love at first sight! then i went on to look for materials. because sewing machine is too expensive, i decided to choose the easiest looking one to make. scan template, enlarge, print, cut cut felt, sew sew sew. because it was handsewn it took quite a while. and thus born, morgan the monster!

then to my surprise when i came home today, eugene bought me a sewing machine!!! whoa! so i made another one with the sewing machine this time. though i must say, i had to spend quite some time understanding the functions on the machine before starting with another. but i'm happy! we decided to call this one, the ninja!

the happy duo!

*edit/

i've made like 4 now. ninjas in production! maybe, just maybe, you'll be lucky enough to get one of these weird and cute softies eh?

but i feel sick today. production is halted.

anxious

to find out whether i get a PhD scholarship or not. especially i just read an email that one senior in my lab got his scholarship offer already. it's the same one that i applied for which it says "application pending". i've been checking my mail like a thousand times a day! but actually, i think i'm just too keen to be independent. if i get the scholarship, then i don't have to rely on my supervisor to cover my expenses for next year. it's not like i won't be able to do a PhD or something like that. because no matter what, with or without scholarship, my supervisor has enough funding to support me. but you know, it will just make me think that i owe it to him. some more he will give me a top up scholarship regardless. where to find so nice supervisor you tell me. i hope i don't fall into the comfort zone to easily. else i might take things for granted. such a huge commitment ahead of me. i really hope i'll be able to meet up to expectations and responsibilities.

in slightly more than a week...

...my family will be here

...attending my graduation

...stop going to work for the shortest time

...go on a road trip to sydney

...so much is happening

once upon a time...

...i lost a toe nail


and now it almost looks normal...

when the internet is up and running

i'll be here online. online for as long as i can before it goes down again. though i don't exactly know what is wrong but at least it's rather easy to repair. must be not doing the proper thing though or else it wouldn't be down so often. maybe then i'll have more reasons to read more books. i just want to lay in bed and do nothing all day. i think this hayfever allergy thingy is starting to get on my nerves. when i wake up with a stuffy nose and watery eyes, i just don't feel like going to work. so i ponteng like the whole second half of the week. but i think i'll have to make up for lost time next week. cannot be so irresponsible do things halfway.

then i also have to look for potential new place to stay. this is taking up my brain power too. do you think it's better to get somewhere near the city, fully furnished but at AUD 200-300 more per month or somewhere which i might have to walk 50 mins to reach my campus (or 20 min tram - AUD 103 per month), need to get all furniture for house (cuz i already got furniture for room) like refrigerator, washing machine, sofa, dining table and chair, kitchen utensils,tv.

on the lighter note, i've gotten my results d. now just have to hope it's good enough to be considered for a scholarship. fingers crossed. trying not to get my hope too high because i know it's rather competitive and i think i'm just borderline. i really do hope i get it so i don't have to burden or rely on my supervisor's project funding. talking about project, i also haven't decided what exactly i want to do. i'm just too lazy! but it's good to know regardless of the funding i'll still be able to do a PhD. just think, if i don't get the scholarship, then it will be more troublesome in terms of re-enrolment. have to appeal for fee remission (don't need to pay tuition fees) then only can enrol, then only can make visa, then have to go medical check up, also health cover. sienz.

family potrait when my 'mum' came to melbourne.

ironic isn't it

my fav pic at the moment. but there's an irony if you look closely. where do you get this colourful candies from?

yes, eventhough i am officially on hols and should have more time to blog, my internet connection doesn't seem to be working the way it is. every other day it just gets stuffed then i lazy go fix it because my housemate still have exam. so never really online that much. weekend pulak go jalan jalan so never online also. ah. this is the life! if only it's not so darn hot!

everything new

i finally got myself that haircut. now my hair, looks nothing like before. you know you always go to the hairstylist wanting something different? this time, it's really different. and i'm liking it! my supervisor said "oh, i see you got yourself a post-thesis hairdo" and my senior said " someone took a bite out of my hair". so yes, deceivingly long but it's superbly short. no pics yet tho because i didn't have a camera.

went to have a early christmas lunch with the lab today. total of 20 people turned up. the whole lab, changing the tram to our destination, supervisor too! i think it's kinda cute, don't you? had japanese teppanyaki. it was plentiful and covered for by my supervisor. then we had a kris kringle. initially i asked myself "what's that?" then i realised it was exchanging of presents. you draw out a name and then buy a present for that person. i got chocolates. a lot of other people got chocolates too. i guess it's just something that most people will like. which i definitely do! there was christmas ornaments, photo frame, teacups, candles, book, vodka, wine, shovel !!?, necklace, wine, more wine and more chocolates! then we hung out chit chat exchange places and chat somemore. imagine, the whole lab is away from work on a wednesday afternoon. doesn't only end there, went for more drinks later!

til it came a time i had to leave, thankfully everyone else leaving too. it was already past 5pm anyways. then i went to look at the new digital camera i was eyeing on. and now, i have a new gadget! i just couldn't wait for a month, for my parents to buy it from malaysia. of course it's slightly more expensive to buy it here, but my rational was if i buy it here means i'm buying it with my own money (my parents does not contribute to my allowance or expenses here in any way because i have enough from the government and from working). another rational is if i work for 30 hours on my hourly pay, i'll be able to pay off for the camera. that's me trying to console myself for my splurge. but i'm loving it!

back from the land of pengpengpenguin

came back from the land of pengpengpenguin two days ago. though was literally living on the same island as the penguins. didn't went to visit them. no one was interested since most already went. so i missed out on coming in close contact with those cuddly friends. the trip was awesome! 10 gals and 1 guy. yes, that's the ratio of honours student within the St. Vincent's campus. and out of all these, only 2 of us are going to continue on with PhD, hopefully. as for the rest, there's too many options to choose from. med school. masters. research assistant. etc etc. we promised to keep in touch. we'll see how that goes. the student room will never be the same without the other four gals.

at the moment, enjoying the life of having nothing urgent to do. cleaning never seems to end. clean room. clean house. clean kitchen. wash clothes. wash dishes. so many boring things to do. since the rest are having exams. no one doing housework. don't need to tell you also you know where needs cleaning most eh?

bake. i like to bake. but i can't take pictures of what i baked today because my camera is sick. it has blurry eyes. now it can't see nicely. so it's rather redundant. hoping to get it diagnosed soon.

need a haircut. need a facial. fugly. too lazy to make appointment.

need more cash. to enjoy. woo!!

/edit

cuppacakes! yum yum yummy!

//edit
bad picture quality taken from sony ericsson w700i hp camera